Fireproofing Your Relationships

My wife Linda and I were fortunate to have the opportunity to attend, last weekend in the Lake of the Ozarks, an uplifting marriage retreat with forty-three other couples. Mark Broyles, who preaches for the Nashua church of Christ in Kansas City, masterfully lead us through several classes focused on our marriages. Built around the themes from the movie Fireproof. we were encouraged to never leave our partner behind.

If you have the opportunity to attend one of these weekends, I highly commend it to you. I know that you will come away having been built up in the faith and drawn closer to your God and to your spouse! Mark and wife Judy have been conducting similar weekends since 2000. Linda and I have attended three of those. They now conduct these workshops under the banner of non-profit corporation, InLight, Inc. Through InLight, they have undertaken the ministry of preserving and strengthening traditional marriage as it continues to face attack from our culture and media. Their goal is to conduct two of these seminars per year in different regions of the country. Upcoming scheduled events are: Chattanooga, TN on March 12th-14th, 2010 and Howie-In-The-Hills, Florida on July 30th – August 10th, 2010. Please support this worthwhile ministry through financial support of their work and/or attendance at their marriage retreats. For more information, visit their website at www.inlightwalk.com.

If you have not seen the movie Fireproof, I would recommend it for the important message that it delivers about the importance of relationships in our lives. Though the film focuses on the marriage relationship, the principles apply to all of our relationships. May we get personal now, dear reader? Let’s consider a few of these.

Are you fireproofing your relationship with your God?

There are “forces” at work to attack your relationship with your Creator. Led by him who is identified in scripture as “the prince of the power of the air” (Ephesians 2:2), these forces (Ephesians 6:12) seek to undermine the influence that God has in your life. He will use anything in his power to draw you away. He utilizes the same avenues of presentation to you that he used with Jesus in the wilderness (Matthew 4:1-11), “the desires of the flesh, the desires of the eyes, and pride in posessions.” (1st John 2:16)

He uses those things that are impure within and of themselves to drain your energy, waste your time and divert your attention. Dabbling in internet pornography, gambling, “carousing,” (NKJ) and “revelings” (NASB, ESV) (2nd Peter 2:13), and a host of other things fall into this category. But when those things fail to bring you down, Satan uses activities that are pure and upright in themselves, and based in motivation to serve God, to cause you to place more emphasis on these than you should, to the neglect of service to Him. Working to support your family, pursuit of sports for yourself and your kids, vacation travel and other things can all fall into this category.

Are you fireproofing your child-parent relationship?

If you are not careful your family relationships may go up in fire as well. Fathers have you taken seriously your role as spiritual leader of your family? Have you paid as much attention to the spiritual development of your children as you have to their physical and academic development?

The “Promise Keepers” message to the men of America, who have abdicated this role, is right on! Though I would not agree with all of their methods, I wholeheartedly agree with this message, that we as men must rise up to our challenge to protect our kids from Satan and his devices and to lead them, as positive spiritual role models, to Heaven.

Young people, do you value and appreciate the sacrifices that your parents make to bring you up “in the discipline and instruction of the Lord”? Do you understand that they often agonize with concern for your welfare? Do you express to them your love and allow them to express their love to you?

As a side-note, you can demonstrate that you have a servant’s heart, as a young Christian, to be a help to your friends who do not have such parents. You probably have friends who have very dysfunctional families, who come from broken homes, and who may have been abused by one parent or the other. You show great love for your friends by sharing your godly parents with them.

Are you fireproofing your relationships with your spiritual family?

You neglect a powerful resource for living the purpose-driven life, when you do not cherish and tap into your relationship with your spiritual family. Local church membership was designed by God to provide the support structure that Christians need to grow and develop as they should. The Apostle Paul talks much about this in his epistles. Ephesians 4:11-16 talks about the role of evangelists and teachers and others in the spiritual family in equipping us to withstand the schemes of false teachers. 1st Corinthians 3:1-3 and Hebrews 5:11-6:6 describe the growth process that should characterize all Christians.

Why do some Christians never progress beyond spiritual infancy? There are a number of factors and many of those relate directly to their relationships in the spiritual family. Failing to assemble with Christians at every opportunity that you have is a subtle way of beginning this downward spiral. But continued assembly in only a public way does not “make the body grow so that it builds itself up in love” to which Paul refers in 1st Corinthians 4:16. We must get to know each other if we are to “bear one another’s burdens” (Galatians 6:2) and if we are to “rejoice with those who rejoice” and “weep with those who weep” (Romans 12:15).

Beloved, none of these relationships will be what they should be unless they are “cultivated” with great concern, effort and love on our part. Brother Broyles encouraged us to fireproof our marriages. He urged the husbands to not allow the “parasites” of sexual temptation, overcommitment and overconfidence to consume our marriages. Sisters Judy Broyles and Sherri Clegg urged the wives to not allow the parasites of nagging, interfering relationships and lack of sexual fulfillment to consume our marriages. Both husband and wives were encouraged to complement, commit, and show clemency to fireproof our marriages. Just like the relationship between husband and wife, that between brothers and sisters in Christ requires constant attention. We must fireproof our relationships if they are to survive.

My dad would always remind his readers, through the words that he wrote, that he was attempting to be an influence, using his “voice” as a Christian, in a secular culture. This recurring message appeared in the masthead of his electronic bulletin, A Christian’s Voice from Van Buren, “ Man uses his voice and pen to convey thoughts. Paul mentions using words that by his voice he might ‘teach others’ (1 Cor. 14:19). John says, ‘And the Spirit and the bride say, Come. And let him that heareth say, Come. And let him that is athirst come. And whosoever will, let him take the water of life freely.’ (Rev. 22:17). My aim is to challenge, inform, and invite – us all to Listen to the VOICE of God. Editor: Bill Sexton.” I agree whole-heartedly with that aim! Thanks for reading with me dear friends. Please resolve to today be a positive influence in the life of others.

–Randy Sexton

Does Your Heart Burn Within You?

Recently, as I was doing my daily bible reading, I reflected upon the account in Luke 24 of Jesus walking on the road to Emmaus with two of his disciples. After these disciples finally recognized that it was Jesus that they had been talking to and he “vanished” from their presence, they made an observation to one another. Verse 32 contains the words they spoke, “Did not our hearts burn within us while he talked to us on the road, while he opened to us the Scriptures?”

As I reflected on that verse, I engaged in a little self-analysis. I asked myself, “How long has it been since my heart has burned within me as I have contemplated Jesus and my service in His kingdom? Consider with me, dear reader:

Does your heart burn within you when you open the Scriptures?

There are many sources of information in our world today. With the immediacy and breadth of the internet, you can “google” anything, it seems, and receive back tons of information in a matter of seconds. Some of this information is reliable and some is not. If one is not careful, he can allow the internet’s abundance of data to stymie him and hinder productive investigation and growth.

The Scriptures provide for us “all things that pertain to life and godliness.” (2 Peter 1:3). They do not contain all that Jesus did or said (John 20:30-31; 21:25) or all of the acts of all of the apostles or even all of the issues of all of the churches. In the Scriptures however we have the account of man’s fall and man restored. From Genesis to Revelation we have the greatest story ever told. We have many treasures to uncover that bring us to know our wonderful God, the tremendous love he has for his people and how “longsuffering” and patient he is when we turn our backs on him. We read of the wonderful place that he has prepared for us to inhabit once this life is over. Truly our hearts should burn within us as we read. Our hearts should burn within us as we set our daily agendas to prioritize the reading of those uplifting, growth-encouraging, faith-building words of Scripture.

Does your heart burn within you when you contemplate opportunities to serve?

God has given us a heart to serve (Matthew 20:26-28; 24:36-40) . There are those around us who are hurting. There are those around us who are looking for direction and guidance in their lives. There are cultural factors that create stress that have an impact on the happiness and well-being of people. If you are a young person who was raised in a two-parent home, where God’s word and His model for the family is respected and followed, you know that you have friends who do not have those benefits.

Does your heart burn within you as you look upon the lost condition of those who do not place their faith and confidence in Jesus? Do you weep like Jeremiah did over the sin of his people (Jeremiah 8:18-9:3; 13:15-17)? Do you empathize with Ezekiel in his concern for that his people were profaning the holiness of God among the nations around them (read such passages as Ezekiel 36:22-38).

I encourage you to seek out these opportunities to be a listener, a friend, a counselor, and an encourager. You will receive blessings for “giving” in this way. You will feel a sense of satisfaction and you will be a source for “spreading the “fragrance of the knowledge of him everywhere.“ “For we are the aroma of Christ to God among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing.” (2 Corinthians 2:15).

Does your heart burn within you when you anticipate the greatest of all family reunions?

Have you gone to family reunions where you felt like a stranger? A couple of factors may have caused you to feel this way: you had not associated with these people regularly and you did not have a lot in common with them, other than the family tie. And so it may be that as the time of the family reunion approaches, you dread the prospects of attending.

Contrast this bond with physical family to the bond with your spiritual family. Jesus expressed it this way, “Who is my mother, and who are my brothers? And stretching out his hand toward his disciples, he said, Here are my mother and my brothers! For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.” (Matthew 12:48-50).

As you anticipate that greatest of all reunions in heaven, does your heart burn within you. Death may have separated you from loved ones but you can take joy in the fact that you will see them again in that wonderful family reunion in heaven. I am comforted by the words of the song I AM a Poor Wayfaring Stranger, “…I am going there to see my Father, I’m going there no more to roam …” I lost my dad to bladder cancer in 2006 but I can rejoice in the fact that he has gone “there” and I will be reunited with him, (my small “f” father) and with God (my capital “F” Father).

I encourage you to read often the descriptions of heaven in the Scriptures and allow it to move you and motivate you to greater services. Allow your heart to burn within you as you identify those in need of encouragement and reach out to them. Allow your heart to burn within you as you consider how “precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his saints” (Psalm 116:15) and all the wonderful depth of meaning in the statement.

Thanks for reading with me and please resolve to be a positive influence in another’s life today.

— Randy Sexton

He Restores My Soul

One of the things that the Psalmist reminds me about my relationship with God is that “He restores my soul.” I quite frequently give more emphasis to that which precedes and that which follows this great blessing. Indeed, I can be confident that he “makes me to lie down in green pastures … and leads me beside still waters … and leads me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.”

But, dear reader, please ponder the greatness of the thought that he also restores your soul. I love what the author Terri Blackstock says in the afterword to her book, Trial By Fire:

“He’s restored my soul when I’v beaten it and bruised it through my careless actions and terrible choices. He has restored my soul when I’ve allowed it to run empty, and he’s restored it when I’ve filled it up with things it wasn’t made to hold. He has restored my soul when others have crushed it. He has restored my soul when there was no hope of restoration.”

Terri Blackstock is one of my favorite authors in the genre of literature that is commonly called “inspiring fiction.” In this book, she describes the transformation in the life of Issie Mattreaux, a young lady who is 24 years old as the events of the book unfold. Issie struggles to keep her nephew, 16-year old Jake, from repeating some of the same mistakes that she made as a teenager. Issie also fights to overcome the effects of previous poor life-choices and finds herself being drawn to an unlikely romantic interest in the town’s single preacher, Nick Foster. Eventually Issie allows Nick and other godly friends to penetrate her tough exterior and she begins to experience God’s restoration in her life.

There are many things that can influence you in your life. You will control whether the positive influences prevail or the negative ones. My prayer for you is that you will seek the counsel of God and of godly people as you make choices, as you fill up your soul, when others attempt to crush your soul and when there appears to be no hope of restoration.

Thanks for reading with me, beloved. Be a positive influence in someone’s life today!

–Randy Sexton

A Christian’s Voice From Raymore – September 30, 2009

Listening to God’s Voice

I have been thinking a great deal lately about the voice of God and how he speaks to Christians in our day. Sometimes I yearn for the type of guidance that he provided to many of his great leaders of the past. I have studied the lives of great men like Moses (Exodus 3) and Jeremiah (Jeremiah 1) who were hesitant to heed the clear call of God. There was Joshua who did not seem to bat an eye when called to take up the challenge of leadership with God’s tremendous encouragement (Joshua 1). And then there were men like Gideon (Judges 6:36-40) who were not quite sure and asked God for a series of signs that he was indeed calling them for a specific mission. I am a believer! I believe that Jesus Christ is the Son of the Living God! I believe that my faith has increased in the past 4-5 years and has increased my desire for ministry and outreach. This increased faith and recent circumstances in my professional life, have brought me to a decision point where I am earnestly seeking and listening for God’s voice. I am passionately pursuing his will for my life and I have reached a decision point. I have just finished reading Lloyd Reeb’s book Success to Significance and definitely am a proponent of the “halftime” philosophy. Through suggestions offered by Mr. Reeb, I hope to find my place to serve. The key questions I must answer are: 1) Will I serve in the marketplace, in the church, in the community or internationally? 2) What are my gifts and talents and how will I carve out a ministry assignment that matches who I am and what God is calling me to do? 3) What model for serving best fits (how much time will I work on it and will my ministry be paid or unpaid)? Knowing that God does not speak to me directly and orally as he did with Moses, Jeremiah, Joshua and Gideon, I look for his providence in the happenings of my life. I spend time with him early in the morning and throughout the day to seek his guidance in the decisions I make. I listen for his voice, speaking through wise counsel offered by godly men and women. I look for guidance from spiritual mentors and leaders. If you would like to leave your comments, feel free to do so. If you would prefer to respond to me privately, e-mail at randy.sexton@achristiansvoice.com. May God bless you in your walk with Him, as you seek to listen to His voice and to find his direction for your life! –Randy Sexton

Musings from My Journal

I went to work yesterday as I had for the last ten years and seven months. But today was different. Today I was to begin day 1 of a new phase of my life. My company had completed a merger on July 1st and the integration process, which had been slowly grinding on, today impacted me in a special way. Today I learned that there would not be a place for me in the new organization.

Now understand that in my 35+ years I had been through similar circumstances, so I was not “blown away” by the news. In 1988 when I experienced it for the first time, I needed the help of my main confidant (my dad) to help get through the next week.

I left work and drove home and while my boys, ages 8 and 11, were outside playing with their friends, I shared the news with my wife. She was immediately concerned about how I was taking the news. I assured that I was doing ok and we agreed that we would not stress over the situation but would continue to explore our options.

As I awoke this morning, I was at peace with the approaching end of my career with my current company. I prayed about our situation and as I left home to take the kids to school, I was more excited than I have been in a while about the future. My thoughts immediately turned to entertain the idea of transforming A Christian’s Voice (ACV) into a ministry and outreach and to be a voice for advancing causes such as Sacred Selections (www.scredselections.org), Youth Friends (www.youthfriends.org), etc. My vision for ACV would involve me in such activities as: consulting, counseling, writing, public speaking and perhaps teaching in a public or private capacity. These are all works in progress. They are presently my ideas and I am listening for God’s voice to discern whether they are His plans for me too. (I will have more reflections on this in the next issue of my blog.)

As I opened Facebook this morning, in my inbox was the most recent issue of Spiritual Manna, an e-newsletter published by Ethan R. Longhenry. That issue began,

“Then Mordecai bade them return answer unto Esther, “Think not with thyself that thou shalt escape in the king’s house, more than all the Jews. For if thou altogether holdest thy peace at this time, then will relief and deliverance arise to the Jews from another place, but thou and thy father’s house will perish: and who knoweth whether thou art not come to the kingdom for such a time as this?” (Esther 4:13-14).

Ethan goes on to make application of the principles here,
“The example of Mordecai and Esther ought to be quite encouraging for us. After all, we are living in the days when we do not get the word from God regarding our specific situations. It may seem many times that God is not there in the midst of our trials and difficulties, and it can be hard to know what to do.

Just as with Esther, so it may be with us. God’s will has been functioning and continues to function in this world (Ephesians 1:3-14, 3:10-11). We may find ourselves in unique situations that allow us to be an encouragement to someone, or perhaps we are put in a position where we can make a great demonstration of the love of God for all men (cf. Matthew 5:13-16, 1 John 4). When we find ourselves in a difficult position, and when we wonder how we shall act in the face of challenging options, we might do well to ask Mordecai’s question: perhaps we were put in the situation we are in for some divine reason!

Far be it from anyone to presume to know for certainty the ways of God and His providence; that is not necessarily for humans to know (cf. Isaiah 55:8-9). Nevertheless, we must at least be open to the possibility that God is providing us with opportunities to accomplish His will and lead people to His relief and deliverance (Matthew 11:28-30, Romans 1:16).

But it is not enough to just be in the right place at the right time: one must take advantage of those opportunities. Esther only acts after Mordecai’s encouragement to recognize the value of the opportunity she has. Perhaps it will be, as Mordecai firmly believed, that deliverance may come from another source. Perhaps someone else will be able to accomplish the Lord’s will if you decide against it. But how tragic it is when someone is in the right place at the right time and yet is unprepared or unwilling to do what the Lord would have them to do (cf. Matthew 21:28-29, 25:14-30)!

Mordecai and Esther lived in dark times and were faced with difficult decisions and no specific and direct word from God. Nevertheless, they held fast to their faith in God as their deliverer and were not disappointed. They recognized the possibility that God’s providence had led Esther to her position, and she was willing to do what was necessary to accomplish what was ultimately manifest as God’s purpose.

It may be 2400 or so years later, but we can easily identify with Mordecai and Esther. Let us also be open to God’s providence, have faith in God and His providence even if He does not directly speak to us today, and take advantage of the opportunities we have been given. After all, who knows whether we have been placed where we are for such a time as this?” — Ethan R. Longhenry

This is great food for thought as I go about my activities today! As you read these musings, please pray that God’s will be done in my life and that I listen to the admonition of the Lord, “Listen, and be still for I have plans for you.”

Thanks for reading with me dear friends.

Revised 9-22-09

–Randy Sexton