A Christians Voice From Raymore, Issue 2, Number 2: “Slow Fade”

Last October, I published an article here that focused on the importance of “fireproofing” your relationships. Many of the thoughts presented then were triggered by the movie “Fireproof.” One of the compelling songs from that movie declares,

“Be careful little eyes what you see
It’s the second glance that ties your hands as darkness pulls the strings
Be careful little feet where you go
For it’s the little feet behind you that are sure to follow

It’s a slow fade when you give yourself away
It’s a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day
It’s a slow fade, it’s a slow fade

Be careful little ears what you hear
When flattery leads to compromise, the end is always near
Be careful little lips what you say
For empty words and promises lead broken hearts astray

It’s a slow fade when you give yourself away
It’s a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day

The journey from your mind to your hands
Is shorter than you’re thinking
Be careful if you think you stand
You just might be sinking

It’s a slow fade when you give yourself away
It’s a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day
Daddies never crumble in a day
Families never crumble in a day

Oh be careful little eyes what see
Oh be careful little eyes what you see
For the Father up above is looking down in love
Oh be careful little eyes what you see”

(Sung by Casting Crowns; From the Album THE ALTAR AND THE DOOR

(Mark Hill); Copyright 2007My Refuge Music/Club Zoo Music WECS Music (BMI), all rights administered by EMI CMG Publishing)

This song had great impact in the movie! The song begins playing as Caleb sits down in front of his computer and is being tempted by Internet pornography. The camera cuts away to another scene in which Caleb’s wife, Catherine, is talking to her mother and says, “It makes me feel so humiliated…. When did I stop being good enough for him.”?

Sadly, Internet pornography is a prevalent problem in our culture and in the church! It is a “parasite” that Satan uses to destroy the influence of godly men and to break up faithful, covenant-based marriages!

“A parasite is anything that latches onto you or your partner and sucks the life our of your marriage. They’re usually in the form of addictions, like gambling, drugs, or pornography. They promise pleasure but grow like a disease and consume more and more of your thoughts, time and money. They steal away your loyalty and heart from those you love. Marriages rarely survive if parasites are present. If you love your spouse, you must destroy any addiction that has your heart. If you don’t, it will destroy you.” (The Love Dare, Stephen & Alex Kendrick, p. 112)

Statistics cited by Mark Broyles at the October 16-19, 2009 Fireproof Your Marriage Seminar & Get Away (p. 13) show:

  • 4.2 million (12% of total websites) are pornographic
  • 60% of all website visits are sexual in nature
  • Hollywood currently releases 11,000 adult movies per year – more than 20 times the mainstream movie production
  • Every 39 minutes a new pornographic video is being created in the United States
  • 87% of college students are having “web sex”
  • At a recent Promise Keepers convention, 53% of those surveyed said that they had visited a porn site within the last week
  • 8-10% of visitors to porn sites become addicted

Additional statistics show the pervasiveness of this issue. Steve and Bette Wolf cite extensive statistics, with the following caution, “We should caution readers about the uncritical acceptance of what is reported and repeated in both the public media and scholarly journals.” They cite the 2001 “duel” between the New York Times and Forbes magazine and the forced recanting of portions of a July 3, 1995 Time Magazine cover article. With this caution the following statistics are noted:

  • “…even the lowball Forbes estimate acknowledges that porn is bigger than Major League Baseball (2.8 billion in 1999, according to the MLB Commissioner) and Broadway theatre ($575 million in ticket sales in 1999, according to the League of American Theatre and Producers, Inc.)
  • “Worse, the problem is not confined to non-Christians or irreligious persons. According to a Zogby International poll, 17.8% of ‘born-again Christians’ have visited at least one sexually explicit website.
  • “A 2001 survey of evangelical clergy by Leadership Journal reported that 40% of respondents struggled with pornography, largely obtained through Internet; one-third acknowledged Internet pornography usage in the last 30 days
  • “The results of a recent study of Internet pornography usage by those identifying themselves as members of Churches of Christ recorded 4,365 Internet survey responses.”

(“Helping Christians Addicted to Pornography,” Truth Magazine Annual Lectures, July 11-14, 2005: The Inspiration and Authority of the Bible, pp. 89-91)

As men who desire to be godly influences in the lives of others, let’s take to heart the messages of that song …

  • This destructive habit does not develop in a day!
  • It is the “second glance” that sucks you into the sin!
  • Pornography destroys one’s influence with “those little feet that are sure to follow!
  • “When black and white have turned to gray,” you have allowed the lines between right and wrong to be blurred!
  • The progressive nature of this sin: “thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid.”
  • The “it can’t happen to me” attitude can leave you vulnerable
  • Though we may think we are doing these things in secret, God knows all!

This short article certainly has not been an exhaustive treatment of the subject of Internet pornography. For your further study, I would commend the Wolfgang article quoted above. It contains extensive footnotes for detailed study of this issue.

Recognizing my responsibility to give voice to the good news of the gospel, I hope to address other men’s issues in future articles. These will appear on this site under the monthly A Christian’s Voice From Raymore page. I will also be launching, in June 2010, the Remembering My Creator page on this site, focused on youth issues. I have invited several young Christians to be “staff writers.” I invite you to pray for this effort and to look for upcoming articles.

Thanks for reading with me, dear friend. Have a blessed day!

–Randy Sexton

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